Mesmerized by Audra Cole & Bella Love-Wins

Author:Audra Cole & Bella Love-Wins [Cole, Audra]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-04-25T05:00:00+00:00

***

By the time James rings the doorbell, I feel the effects of the two—or was it three?— glasses of wine working their magic and erasing some of my anxiety.

“Sorry I’m late babe,” he says, as I swing the door open.

“As long as you remembered the food, I will forgive you.” I smile.

He laughs and holds up the bags of takeout. I usher him inside and follow him to the kitchen where he starts to unload the food onto the counters. We work silently as we each fill our plates, and it seems like no one wants to be the first to say anything.

I glance over at James and try to decipher my feelings. Do I love this man? I wonder to myself. Or, is he just the “safe” choice?

Choice? What am I thinking about. There isn’t a choice to be made here. Brandon is not an option.

Not anymore.

Must be the wine buzz.

I shake my head to try to clear the thoughts and struggle to think of something, anything, to say to start a conversation, because the silence is killing me.

“I made scones,” I say.

Really? That’s the best thing you could think of? I mentally ask myself.

James nods. “That sounds great. I was wondering what you were baking in here. I could smell it from outside, actually.”

“They have walnuts and cranberries. Dried ones, not fresh.”

Can someone please hit me with a shovel and end my misery?

He nods again but doesn’t add anything. I mean really, what is there to add to that?

Yikes.

It’s possible I need therapy…or maybe just more wine.

“I don’t know if this is something you want to talk about, but I was at work and my buddy was asking if we were going to rent the beach house or not. Have you had a chance to give that any more thought?” James mercifully breaks the silence as we sit down at my small dining room table to eat dinner. My poor, neglected dining room table. It really only gets used when James is here. He insists that we eat at a table. He says it’s more civilized. I eat in the kitchen or on the couch when I’m alone. Looking at him now, I wonder if James ever eats sitting on the couch. I doubt it.

What was he asking me? Charity, focus!

“I checked with my boss and since it’s kind of the slow season, he is fine with me cashing in all my vacation time, so I would have about three weeks off. I’d have to check in from time to time, maybe make a few trips into the city but other than that….” His voice trails off.

Beach house, right. I almost laugh at the idea of James being able to give up work for three weeks. The man works around the clock and never goes anywhere without his laptop and cell phone.

Then it hits me, the realization that if he is willing to take off that amount of time and do the bare minimum for work, this must be something that is really, really important to him.

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